Link Up With Jake & Holly

1. I laughed so hard I cried when... my dog tea-bagged my best friend.  He was laying on the couch...she was sitting next to the couch.  He hopped off, and WHAM...right in the forehead.  I die.

Murphy...the culprit.  He looks pretty proud of himself.

2. My high school...parking spot was awesome.  Who would have thought that that spot was better than any parking spot I would have as an adult?  I would have appreciated a lot more if I had only known...
3. It really pisses me off... that they insist on weighing me every week at the doctor's office.  I have 3.5 weeks to go...I'm huge...I get it...thank you.  This will never not get on my nerves
4. In ten years... Hmmm...I'll almost be 38.  Surely we'll have won the lottery by then...right?
5. If I could erase one thing... It would be all these stretch marks from this baby cooking...it's gross.  I heard someone say they're like battle scars that you should be proud of.  No. Battle scars are like battle scars.  Stretch marks are gross.
6. In 1999... I was 14 rocking to some lame boy band and hoping my discman didn't skip in the middle of my favorite song.
7. Honestly... I'm pregnant, and I don't want to come to work anymore...like ever...like I'm doing good to change my underwear everyday and take a bath.
8. To me, Sushi...is some mythical food that I vaguely remember eating
9. Someone really needs to invent...auto pilot for cars...I can set my DVR from my phone, there's a cloud somewhere above me with all my crap stored in it, and I'm still having to drive my car with my feet...please.
10. The first time I drank alcohol... was a sloppy freaking disaster.  I had 2 Two dogs (come on....you know you remember these), and was completely blasted.  I put the caps in the bottles and started shaking them like maracas. I would have left me on the side of the road.
11. The one question I would ask God is... Do I get to pick my neighbors, or is that something you take care of?
12. Lindsay Lohan... I will allow you to continue smoking Marlboro reds as long as you continue whitening your veneers.